Handheld Electric Bug Zappers: Too Much Fun?

Bugs are annoying. That's why they're called bugs. Sometimes they're even frightening and probably somewhat detrimental to our health.

See, bugs are one of the few animals that humans have never really befriended. You'll never see a happy-go-lucky tween going nuts over how adorable a spider is, like they do to dogs, dolphins, and mice (for the really weird ones).

It's pretty natural to kill any bug that really gets on our nerves. As a child, we all stomped on ants for recreation (the especially sadistic burned them with magnifying glasses) and now, we'll go to unbelievable lengths to keep our homes bug-free.

There are thousands of little knick-knacks that help satiate our collective appetite for bug destruction, but this one was definitely one of the most creative ideas I’ve seen.

Bug zappers aren’t uncommon to see in backyards. They’re those lights that feature a few specks of insect remains. But for the especially proactive bug haters, there’s the handheld bug zapper. These babies look sort of like those mini tennis racquets that we used to flail around as kids except for the fact that their strings are electrified, to really dust off those pesky bugs.

In fact, the inventors of handheld bug zappers were even audacious enough to put listings of the number of points you score for each bug you kill, so you can almost make a game out of it. It’s 10 points for flies, 30 points for wasps, and I believe the king kill was a dragonfly. Now, the packaging says that the device is environmentally friendly and I suppose it probably could be better than those toxic insect poisons. However, what if indeed, people began making a game out of killing insects? What if it became a recognized sport: The Bug Zapping Federation of America (BZFA)?

I mean, people might even use the bug zapper as stress relief and entertainment, among other things. Trust me— if over 15 million people enjoy mowing down pedestrians with machetes in Grand Theft Auto IV, there will be some people who enjoy killing bugs.

It’s just simple probability. There’s an idea.

The 10 Most Creative Sports Training Equipment: Must-Have Pieces for Any Athlete

10. Cushioned whistles

A must-have for any referee who wants to penalize in comfort. The actual whistle is attached to a handle that features a cushioned grip. Now that’s what I call indulgence.

9. Basketball shooting sleeves

These sleeves tighten around your arm to force you to shoot with proper form in basketball. They keep your arm aligned with the basket and emphasize the arc of a shot.

8. Belt tennis ball holders

Tennis, especially for us beginners, usually involves a ton of picking up balls that have landed in the net on unforced errors. Thus, it’s now convention to keep a bunch of balls in your pockets instead of having to run after every fanned shot. And this little invention lets you keep an extra tennis ball clipped onto your waist.

7. Extreme slideboards

If you’re an American, first of all, just know that hockey is Canada’s game. Why? Because here in Canada, we get to freeze our butts off playing hockey year-round. 365-day rinks are everywhere and ponds are frozen for 5 months of they year. But for you Americans, there’s the extreme slideboard, which simulates the ice surface so you can practice your shots, passes, and handles. Now, you’ll never beat Canada at the Olympics but you can have some fun sliding.

6. Parachutes

Parachutes are awesome. Whoever thought of harnessing the power of air resistance as a method of fitness? We can run with parachutes dragging behind us, and we can even swing bats, sticks, and arms with parachutes to provide resistance.

5. Radar balls

The radar ball is great for amateur ballplayers who don’t want to spend 200 bucks on a radar gun when they can get a decent reading from a $20 item. The radar ball detects the impact of the ball on the glove in order to determine the velocity of it. An idea that saves me $180 is a good idea any day.

4. Roller skis

With a pair of roller skis, you can simulate the experience of cross-country skiing in any temperature. Roller skis are just skis with wheels at the bottom. Sure, it’s a dead simple idea but it took someone to come up with it.

3. Curveball trainers

Baseball’s second contribution to this list is the curveball trainer. Basically, these are foam balls that have spiral grooves in them to create the crazy movements of a slider, screwball, and curveball. This happens because the grooves in the ball are able to manipulate the way air travels around it, convincing the molecules to push the ball a certain way, and allowing you to practice hitting them.

2. Golf ball-finding glasses

These babies almost made it to number one on this list. How could you not love ‘em? Your cousin gives you a lucky golf ball but after 3 straight eagles, you lose it in the rough. Time to pop on the golf ball-finding glasses and voila— suddenly a little white speck begins to stand out.

1. Passback footballs

I absolutely adore the people who mass-produce those “why-didn’t-I-think-of-that” ideas. This is definitely one of those. If you’re friends prefer drinking Mountain Dew and playing Call of Duty to playing catch with you, you can now finally train your spiral on your own. Passback footballs are flat on one side so they can bounce back to you after hitting a wall of some sort. Brilliant! It may not bounce back as well as it does off your friend’s belly, but you’ll just have to live with it.

A New Product that Cracks Your Eggs for You

So last night, I was watching some TV and this infomercial came on. You know the whole deal— a way-too-enthusiastic voiceover, narrating a day in the life of an aggressively smiley actor. Yup. Same-old, same-old.

But for some reason, I just watch a little closer when an infomercial comes on, sort of like we all do when “the man your man could smell like” starts talking to us. I mean, c’mon. You gotta admit that some of the ideas that are advertised are pretty amazing. Now, I’m not talking about Vince’s Shamwow (which I own and doesn’t work) or Slap-Chop (which you can’t make an edible salad with).

I’m talking about stuff like the EZ Cracker. So apparently the EZ Cracker can cleanly crack your eggs for you, without getting any of the shell into the eggy part.

A lot of people know that I’m no cook. I couldn’t make a bowl of rice for you without messing something up. Let me tell you that on the grounds of fear of causing the apocalypse, I haven’t even tried cracking an egg.

Finally, there’s a device that looks like it can help me conquer my fears.

And looking at the device, it’s actually quite astounding what a feat in engineering this is. Basically, you squeeze a handle and that forces two rings that are gripping the egg, to suddenly separate. This spurs the eggshell to separate into two different parts, allowing you to watch as the yummy part, as it miraculously drops out.

What amazes me the most though, is the fact that it claims that it can crack an egg of any size. My question is how did they engineer this device so that the rings could grip onto an eggshell of any size, without applying too much or too little force onto the shell? Too much force would obviously crack the shell, while too little, wouldn’t grip the shell hard enough that the two rings could pull the eggshell apart.

On the other hand, however awesome the engineering is, I highly doubt that little thing could separate an ostrich egg. And the infomercial does claim that it can crack an egg of “any size”. I’d like to see who else scouts this error out and pursues another one of those stupid lawsuits.

Creative Condiments: The Infamous Costco Onion Dispenser

We know we're lazy when we need a specially designed machine to help us garnish our hot dogs. And what better way to make money then to cater to our work-shy needs?

That's the basis of Costco's famous onion dispensers. They're those big metal boxes that say "ONIONS" in big letters on them. And they're awesome.

All you have to do is turn a handle and out comes a stream of flavour. I can't believe we used to actually lift tongs and manually spread onions in the old. Hah! We were so naive back then...

But seriously, while it may seem like a very trivial little invention, having your onions neatly come out of a little machine lets us bypass so many troubles. I mean, with tongs, a number of things can go wrong:

1. You might take too much and then it’s impolite to put it back so you’ll just be forced to down a double helping of onions.

2. You might spill some. Then you’ll have to scramble from the condiments station before a Costco employee comes, making you feel guilty that they have to clean up your mess.

3. You’ll have a hard time spreading it properly. Usually, unskilled onion-putters just put a big glop on one part of the wiener, and then face the task of spreading the onions evenly with the yucky tongs that have gone who-knows-where.

So I was interested in what else the onion dispenser’s, manufacturer made. I did a little research on the company that makes these babies, Perfection Manufacturing, and apparently they specialize in condiment dispensers. Ketchup, mustard, cheese, you name it, they’ll dispense it.

Wow, there’s a company for everything these days.

Why Don't We All Carry Around Glasses Repair Kits?

So I’m waiting for the washroom at a gas station the other day, and I spot something really funky. I’m not really the gas station convenience store type guy, so I’d never caught a glimpse of this idea before. Hanging from the bottom hook on the shelf was a row of “glasses repair kits”.

Now, I was sceptical at first— how often do you need a glasses repair kit? But then I noticed that I don’t wear glasses and thus, obviously have never had to endure the heartbreak of them breaking up on you. And if you think about it, it sucks not being able to see.

I mean, what if you’re playing basketball one day and you’re jostling for position in the key. Then suddenly, that mean bully behind you knocks your glasses off. After miming around on the ground for awhile, you’re relieved to find out that your glasses are alright.

Then a raccoon comes and steps on them. NOOOO!! THEY’RE BROKEN!!

Well if you happen to be playing right beside a gas station, you can go in and buy yourself a handy glasses repair kit! It comes with a beautifully crafted mini-screwdriver, a pair of mini tweezers, and some mini-screws.

So while that mean bully can’t miss a shot on the court, you can be on the sidelines fixing your glasses for only $2.99!

Honestly though, how do these things sell? Do you really need to be carrying a remedy to broken glasses around with you everywhere? Next thing you know, we’ll all be sporting grab sacks of Tylenols, sewing needles, and mustard packets. Not a very practical fantasy.

Anyway though, if you just happen to break your glasses right beside a gas station, it’s your lucky day because you can get yourself a glasses repair kit.