Life's Guilty Pleasure: Lollipops with Gum in the Middle

As a kid, you would spend half your allowance on little toys and the other half on candy. But at the candy shop, it was always a difficult decision. Do I want that lollipop or that stick of gum? Well, it was a great day when you went in that door, and right after you heard the little chime, you witnessed history. It was a shelf full of gum-filled lollipops!

Could it really be possible? Yes! Now, you get gum and a lollipop all in the same package. How could you not love that?

And these gum-filled lollipops, well they started a revolution. A revolution of thing filled things. Jelly-filled donuts came after and now, decades later, we email-filled phones and game-filled MP3 players. So want to create a cool new product? Just combine two cool old products and voila, you have a creative hot banana pepper.

All great products are weird at first. Just take a look around this blog and you'll see that every post highlights something weird. Weird is awesome!

How Marketers are Putting Advertising in Your Next Camera

Marketing and advertising are growing constantly. Various sources say that the average American is bombarded by anywhere from 254 to 5000 advertisements a day. How is that possible? Well think about the radio ads you heard in the car or the billboards you saw while driving. Think about the ads you saw on the bus that just passed by and the Goodyear blimp in the sky. How about the ads on the elevator's new TV or the site you were just surfing?

No doubt, humanity is awfully good at finding more and more ways to satisfy an addiction to furthering consumerism, for the sake of the economy. In other words, we're finding more and more places to put our ads.

And here is another example of an incredibly innovative idea being developed. Some might call it just more visual pollution, while others would dub it marketing genius.

But like it or not, new cameras are now being fitted with a system software that will create a new million-dollar industry.

Basically, a program will be able to detect the logos or products of a particular brand, in the photos that users take. In turn, the user will be shown an ad to correspond with the brand featured in their beautiful photography. For example, if someone were to snap a picture of a party, where a bottle of Coke happened to be present in the scene, the camera would be able to detect the bottle by its logo and colors. After the photo was taken, it would then proceed to show an ad for Coca-Cola or perhaps even a competitor like Pepsi.

This would mean that millions of dollars could be paid out for the advertising spots, to camera companies that adopt this type of software. And the additional profits could mean lower camera prices to convince users to brave the ads.

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OK fine, this idea is nowhere close to being in development but I just thought it might be where the camera industry goes next. I believe it would be a very valid business model and a creative way to make profits and sell cameras.

Back-to-School Special: How to Suck Up to Teachers for Good Grades

Now I’m sure that you’re easily intelligent enough to get A’s the old-fashioned way— with good ol’ determination, work ethic, and discipline. However, being the creative person that you are, I thought that you might be interested in a more efficient method.

The art of sucking up is not a difficult one to practice and if executed properly, it can boost your grades by up to 15%. And the funny thing is, you don’t have to be an A-student to be able to suck up and better yet, you don’t even have to act like a loser. Here is a guide to getting good grades the creative way, come September:

Make a good first impression.

The psychologists don’t lie. If you make a bad first impression, you’re digging a deep hole for yourself, very early in the year. The first few weeks are the time when it’s most crucial that you’re totally on top of your game. You know the deal: Don’t be late for class, hand in homework, work hard, don’t talk too much in class, etc. etc. If you put on those trusty goody-two shoes (see what I did there?) for the first little while, you’ll be able to establish your image as one of being a perfect student in your teacher’s head.

Then, as the months go by, you’ll be able to slowly fade back out to slacker mode, without too many repercussions.

Volunteer.

In the first few weeks, you’ll want to go all out with the volunteering. Be the first to raise your hand when she asks who wants to take the attendance down or who wants to take the recycling out. First of all, your teacher will automatically think of you as an enthusiastic learner and a responsible person. Further, as an added bonus, your peers will likely interpret that you just want to skip class and won’t treat you like a complete egghead.

Compliment them.

OK, this is a given. For amateurs, there’s always the “nice haircut” line but for the especially ambitious, add some “heart” into it. A girl can definitely get away with something like “I love your outfit today. It really matches well!” A guy should stay away from complimenting a female teacher on her fashion sense… However, if you have a male teacher, “Yo, those shoes are sick!” is not a bad line. Remember, every teacher loves to be respected by his or her students.

And speaking of that, complimenting a teacher on his teaching style or content is always a good idea. Everyone loves to be thought of as good at what they do.

Treat teachers like human beings.

This tip is without a doubt, the granddaddy of them all. This is pretty much the principle that all the other tips are based on. Treating teachers like human beings may be tough, but inside, they crave acceptance just as much as we do. Talk to them coolly and casually; crack some jokes and even ask them a bit about their personal life, (pretending to be) interested. And always talk about what they’re interested in, not what you’re interested in— you’ll be rewarded. If they like classical music, you’d better speak like Beethoven’s your idol.

Treating teachers like people will make them feel that you think of them as a friend, and thus, also feel an obligation not to disappoint you in your grades.

Trust me, this stuff is the real deal.

The Biggest Pool in the World: The Endless Pool

I’m not going to lie. The second I saw the ad for Endless Pools, I wanted one. I mean, the fact that this pool was endless seemed so exotically awesome to me. (Hippie voice) Like, whoa… You can swim…forever? Radical… (End of hippie voice)

How it works is that there’s a pump on one edge of the pool that pushes a constant stream of water towards the other side. And so when you swim against this “current”, you don’t move forward or backward, making the pool effectively endless. Think about it. You could swim for miles in your own backyard. Now, think about the pleasant conversations you could now have with your rich friends:

“I could swim 5 miles in my backyard pool without turning.”

“Whoa… Our pool is only 3 miles long. What do you do for a living?”

“I’m with the Men in Black (satisfied smirk).”

And not only are they great to boast, they’re actually really practical too. I mean, for a thoroughly incompetent swimmer like me, no turning is a nice perk. And how about the fact that you don’t need much space for an Endless Pool, since you can swim forever without moving?

All in all, if I had a choice, I’d sure as heck make my pool endless.

A New Product that Cracks Your Eggs for You

So last night, I was watching some TV and this infomercial came on. You know the whole deal— a way-too-enthusiastic voiceover, narrating a day in the life of an aggressively smiley actor. Yup. Same-old, same-old.

But for some reason, I just watch a little closer when an infomercial comes on, sort of like we all do when “the man your man could smell like” starts talking to us. I mean, c’mon. You gotta admit that some of the ideas that are advertised are pretty amazing. Now, I’m not talking about Vince’s Shamwow (which I own and doesn’t work) or Slap-Chop (which you can’t make an edible salad with).

I’m talking about stuff like the EZ Cracker. So apparently the EZ Cracker can cleanly crack your eggs for you, without getting any of the shell into the eggy part.

A lot of people know that I’m no cook. I couldn’t make a bowl of rice for you without messing something up. Let me tell you that on the grounds of fear of causing the apocalypse, I haven’t even tried cracking an egg.

Finally, there’s a device that looks like it can help me conquer my fears.

And looking at the device, it’s actually quite astounding what a feat in engineering this is. Basically, you squeeze a handle and that forces two rings that are gripping the egg, to suddenly separate. This spurs the eggshell to separate into two different parts, allowing you to watch as the yummy part, as it miraculously drops out.

What amazes me the most though, is the fact that it claims that it can crack an egg of any size. My question is how did they engineer this device so that the rings could grip onto an eggshell of any size, without applying too much or too little force onto the shell? Too much force would obviously crack the shell, while too little, wouldn’t grip the shell hard enough that the two rings could pull the eggshell apart.

On the other hand, however awesome the engineering is, I highly doubt that little thing could separate an ostrich egg. And the infomercial does claim that it can crack an egg of “any size”. I’d like to see who else scouts this error out and pursues another one of those stupid lawsuits.

Creative Condiments: The Infamous Costco Onion Dispenser

We know we're lazy when we need a specially designed machine to help us garnish our hot dogs. And what better way to make money then to cater to our work-shy needs?

That's the basis of Costco's famous onion dispensers. They're those big metal boxes that say "ONIONS" in big letters on them. And they're awesome.

All you have to do is turn a handle and out comes a stream of flavour. I can't believe we used to actually lift tongs and manually spread onions in the old. Hah! We were so naive back then...

But seriously, while it may seem like a very trivial little invention, having your onions neatly come out of a little machine lets us bypass so many troubles. I mean, with tongs, a number of things can go wrong:

1. You might take too much and then it’s impolite to put it back so you’ll just be forced to down a double helping of onions.

2. You might spill some. Then you’ll have to scramble from the condiments station before a Costco employee comes, making you feel guilty that they have to clean up your mess.

3. You’ll have a hard time spreading it properly. Usually, unskilled onion-putters just put a big glop on one part of the wiener, and then face the task of spreading the onions evenly with the yucky tongs that have gone who-knows-where.

So I was interested in what else the onion dispenser’s, manufacturer made. I did a little research on the company that makes these babies, Perfection Manufacturing, and apparently they specialize in condiment dispensers. Ketchup, mustard, cheese, you name it, they’ll dispense it.

Wow, there’s a company for everything these days.

Ankle Weights: One Creative Exercise Idea

I know that this is old news but fitness is a big deal these days. We're in a culture where body shape and physique is paramount, while advancement in medical research has brought health into the spotlight.

One of our favorite things to gloat about nowadays is how intense our last trip to the gym was. You know the line: "Oh goodness! What a workout! I just did a 10 mile run on the treadmill and bench-pressed 113. I'm SOO tired!"

And at the forefront of masculine workout routines, is weight training. Dumbells and bench presses, biceps and triceps; the arms have emerged as THE part that gets you the most girls (along with that trusty six-pack, of course).

But then comes along the protagonist of this story. Let's call him Sam. He's a guy who thinks that all of his fantasies will be fulfilled if he not only strengthens his arms and abs, but the rest of his body as well.

So he wonders to himself, "There's plenty of ways to work out my arms and abs, but how about my legs?" Sure, legs aren't the first place chicks look to, but Sam wants to get everything right.

People had been telling him that jogging would be good for his legs, but he didn't just want healthy legs, he wanted muscular superman legs that he knew would be awfully attractive.

Then, a brilliant hot banana pepper strikes him. What if he attached weights to his legs and then ran with them on?

Perfect! He'd finally be able to get those beautiful legs he'd been fantasizing about. Every night, he'd dream about having beautiful legs, and now, he finally had them.

What? What did you think he was fantasizing about?

One Creative Gift Idea: Glass Flowers

Glass flowers. Whoever came up with these babies must be a real thinker. I can see the inventor as a keen businessperson who loved to decorate her home, but had a lot of other things on her plate. Let’s call her Sally.

So Sally thinks to herself: “Real flowers are always ideal, but watering them and constantly making sure that they get proper sunlight can be a huge hassle. And then there are those hopelessly listless plastic flowers that just don’t look right, no matter how well you arrange them.”

It appears that she’ll have to make a choice: bear the hassle of those lovely real flowers or suffer the scorn of visitors who notice her plastic ones. Ugh. Decisions, decisions.

But then she suddenly has a brilliant idea. “Plastic flowers are only ugly because plastic looks really cheap. What if we use a better-looking material to make the flowers?”

Of course, the first thing that came to her mind was gold, but obviously, as an intelligent businessperson, she had her budget in mind too. After pondering this for a few days, she finally put her finger on the perfect material: painted glass!

It’s stunning, affordable, and low-maintenance. Next time, when you want to give the gift of flowers, glass is always appreciable. What a sizzling hot banana pepper!

Coming Up With Creative Little Ideas: The Life of a Hot Banana Pepper

Believe it or not, you have great ideas everyday.

Some of these great ideas will be patties (refer to the definition on the left). Patties are your million-dollar aha moments, where something just clicks in your brain, and before you know it, you’re piecing together your brilliant new invention. How about the airplane, the email, or the television?

"Hot banana peppers" is the other category these great ideas can fall under. Hot banana peppers are those teensy-weensy ideas that we barely even realize are floating around our heads, despite how important they are to us. Coloring books may not be on quite the same level as automobiles, but shading in princesses sure does make little girls a bit happier.

The point is, hot banana peppers are awesome and you can come up with them with this acronym:

Observe

Remember when your grade 1 teacher continually asked you to listen to her? Well contrary to popular belief, there might have been some substance to what she was saying. To come up with a hot banana pepper, you gotta listen, but more broadly, you gotta observe everything around you.

Find a problem

This may seem a little bit pessimistic to you, but while you’re observing, your goal is to find a problem. Actually, it’s easier to find little problems in life; humans are naturally nit-picky creatures and generally have a hard to looking at the big picture. So just find a little problem— say you’re hiking and you find it annoying that you perpetually have to stop to take your water bottle out of your bag. You don’t want to hold it so you’re stuck with this unbearable situation.

Fix a problem

Hmm… What if I invented a water bottle helmet. It’ll have the water bottle mounted on it, then when I’m thirsty, I can just suck some water out of the tube. Perfect!

And that’s the life of a hot banana pepper, folks!